Beer Part 3: Is Germany a Beer Snob?

Germany has a great beer culture.  It's just wonderful.  But it's a beer snob in my opinion[1].  In Germany's defense, though... who isn't?  I know I am.  Everyone spends at least a little bit of time talking about which beer is better.   I'll present my argument for why I think so, and you decide for yourself.

Beer is something that bring's people together in a way.  It's fun to try the local brew and experience the almost infinite varieties of beer tastes.  Everyone's going to have different opinions.  I'll get into why Germany is a beer snob, but before that... here are a couple things about Germans and their beer:

- You can walk around with your beers in town.
- You can even drink as a passenger in a car.

- You don't throw an empty bottle away.  You set it next to a trash can and someone comes and takes it for the 8 cents that it's worth.  

- Beer is generally rather inexpensive at Bars (sometimes cheaper than water).  

- They got the Reinheitsgebot and they are quite proud of that.  

- There are 1300 breweries in Germany, making 5000 different types of beer and they are probably all quite good.  

- Every location seems to have it's specific type of beer, for instance, each of these places has this and more: 

           - Düsseldorf has Alt 

           - Köln (or Cologne) has Kölsch.  

           - Munich has Helles and Hefeweizen.  

           - Berlin has Berliner Weisse.  

           - Hamburg has Astra.  

           - Pilsner, which is a Czech beer originally and what a Budweiser is, is all over Germany it seems.  You can almost always count on a Pilsner being in the bar. 

           - And Frankfurt has Apple wine[2].  It's not beer, but you gotta try it! 

So all of these beers are easy to find in their respective regions, but in other regions of Germany it may be hard to find.  And I live in the land of mostly Kölsch beer... I'm not complaining, but let's just say it's not my favorite. 

More cultural things: 

- Germany's been making beer for thousands of years and as far as I know the thought of a "prohibition" never even entered the mind of a German.  

- They drink like champs.  Germany has the third highest beer consumption per capita (behind Czech and Austria) while the U.S. is falling in at a measly 14th (pick it up, people!).  

- And everyone loves David Hasselhoff.

It's safe to say that German beer culture is quite a bit different than American beer culture.  Both have their pros and cons.  I can't say which is better.  It would be great if we had the ability to walk and drink a beer in the U.S.  But it would also be great if I could get a good West Coast IPA here in Germany.  I guess you just can't have it all.  

Here's one interesting thing about Germany and its beer.  I hate to say it, but Germany is a beer snob.  

And here's why: 

- Germany basically only offers Germany beer. 
- Cities don't even offer the neighboring city's beer. 
- They call American beer piss... but I'm pretty sure they don't try anything other than the piss beer we have. 
- They have a 500-year-old law that permits only 4 ingredients, and you think that anything else that has more than these ingredients is not beer. [3]

It's an interesting thing actually.  I can even get on board with the idea that "pure" beer only has 4 ingredients.  But you can't say that adding different flavors to beer makes it not beer.  Just because I like a little bit of seasoning on my steak doesn't mean that it's not steak.  

And to not offer beer other than German beer in Germany?  Or not even Alt beer in Köln?  What is that all about?  Seems like an unfair monopoly or something.  Maybe that's the thinking... if you only offer Kölsch in Köln, then you stimulate the local economy a little bit.  Very practical.  No competition.  

In Germany, sometimes you find Belgian beer, but rarely do you find a bar that has anything more than that.  I make trips to Holland to buy some beers from U.S., Belgium, Holland, or whatever.  They have all kinds of options.  But not in Germany.  It's pretty much all German beer. 

You see... I realized all of this in Ireland.  A wonderful country that has delicious beer.   They even sold German beer.  And American, English, Belgian, Netherlands, etc.  I was able to find all kinds of varieties... totally un-snobbish.  They say, "Hey if you don't like Irish beer, here's Budweiser, Becks, Heineken, or Sierre Nevada IPA on tap."   It was a stark difference from Germany.

I'm a beer snob.  I will gladly say that light beer tastes like carbonated water.  And in that case, I'll just have a carbonated water instead (delicious).  And I can even get behind the idea that beer with other ingredients in it isn't really beer in the "pure" sense of the word.  But that doesn't stop Germans from mixing beer with Sprite or Coke.  And I'll take a Summer Shandy over a Radler (which is beer mixed with Sprite) any day.  Summer Shandy while playing some beach volleyball pushes that one up to great. 

Side Stories that may or may not be relevant to anything:

1. Technically, I think only a person can be a beer snob, but I'm personifying Germany, in this case.  
2. You gotta try the Apple wine in Frankfurt.  Apple wine and the American classic movie Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage.  You're in for a good night.
3. I don't even really understand why they have that law.  I've tried to figure it out.  One person told me it was for safety, another was to protect Bavaria from the shitty tasting beers of the north (my paraphrase), another was about controlling the price of wheat and rye.